Prodigal Me

Here I am, back at the door

even though I don't live here anymore.

When there's no answer I should say: That's that.

But instead, I just grab the key -

I left under the mat.

I knew that I'd be back

I knew I would retreat over the track.

I hate that I'm here, it's not where I oughta be;

but it's the most familiar place,

when I am prodigal me.

The problem's always the same-

not sure if it is small pleasures, or big shame;

but when I turn the key and tumble the lock,

the two enemies I face are

the devil and the clock.

Neither one's quite as you'd fear,

one's just stoned-faced,

the other grinning ear-to-ear.

But neither makes a quick move,

while you're still at the door...

Showing temptation, and always offering more.

A phone-movie of Jaedon (He will be 1 in two weeks!)

Here is a great movie of Jaedon playing Peek-a-boo with me! I love this kid, he has a lot of personality! (He comes by it honestly!)

Note to self: The mic is always on!

I was flipping through some late-night television when I came across Rev. Jesse Jackson, Sr. making a comment about Barack Obama that was heard over a hot microphone. For those who are wondering what he said, it was reported to be "I want to cut his nuts off."

This video is his response to his "getting caught". His response is that his mistake was making a comment in front of an open microphone. He doesn't even apologize for the actual comment itself, however I am glad to learn that Rev Jackson and Sen Obama have a relationship that can survive this. Whew.



I can tell you with all confidence that Jesus detests when men like Rev Jackson do things like this. Please allow me to quote him directly from Luke 12 (Message Remix):

"Watch yourselves carefully so you won't get contaminated with (their) yeast, (their) phoniness. You can't hide behind a religious mask forever, sooner or later the mask will slip down and your true face will be known. You can't whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day's coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town."

Note to self: THE MIC IS ALWAYS ON!

I began a new job with Target on Saturday. During orientation, we were told that Target prides itself on being a diverse company. In fact, they have a slogan: "The strength of many, the power of one." Couldn't this be the slogan for Christianity? It should be!

We were shown a video with all different nationalities of people, what appeared to be a muslim woman in a headscarf (Target Red, of course) and various other diverse-looking people. Then we were told about an opportunity in the break room to write on a paper star a brief statement that begins "I am diverse because..." The leader of the orientation said that she has learned so much about people that she would never have guessed if she hadn't read their star. Well, I waited until the first appropriate moment to run in and read what people felt made them diverse. There were several statements about tolerance of diversity, some unique experiences, nationalities, or backgrounds. I was looking all over the board like a student looking for his test scores, and then finally... The word "Christian"! I whispered it aloud: I have lived in Christian, Catholic, and Muslim homes, and I am openly gay! It begs the question, "What would I write that makes me diverse/unique?"

This will be a great challenge! Would you be willing to put this up at your work, for all to see? If not, figure out what those things are that would be awkward, and realize that those are the things that need to change. Our example is Christ, not the other Christians around you.

Hebrews 11

Here is something funny about Hebrews 11, which is like God's Hall of Fame of faithful people. At the very end, the writer says that,

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.

They did what they were supposed to do at the right time, but even these people didn't receive what they were promised. It goes on to say:

Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

I want to have this kind of faith, and I want to continue walking towards that city.

If the LORD is with me, I am not alone

I have not yet blogged about how I got to Portland this weekend, or what happened while I was here. I am not able to put it into words yet. I will blog about it later.

This morning, I went to Singing Hills Christian Church in Hillsboro, OR today.


The sermon was about modeling uncompromising courage under God's sovereignty, using the example of Joseph and his dealings with Pharaoh.

Joseph is in prison in Egypt, and because of his character and behavior, he is eventually put in charge of the prison. He is still a prisoner, but the LORD is with him. This is what the bible says:

But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph's care, because the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.

So then the cupbearer and the baker have dreams, and they look troubled. Jesus asks them in Gen 40:7 "Why do your faces look so sad today?"

God's presence enables us to think of others despite our own situation.

God will enable me to think of others during this time.

Then, after he interprets their dreams for them, he asks the cupbearer to remember him and put a good word in with Pharaoh. But in Gen 40:23 it says, "the cupbearer however did not remember Joseph."

God's presence secures us when we've been forgotten by others.

God will secure me as I have been forgotten and abandoned by others.

Then, two years later Pharaoh has a dream that cannot be interpreted, and the cupbearer says in Gen 41, "9 Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. 10 Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. 11 Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 12 Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream."

God's presence encourages us to wait on His timing.

God will encourage me to wait on His timing.

During this entire experience, Joseph was always very careful not to boast about himself. He gave God all of the credit and glory for his position and abilities.

God's presence shapes us to rely on His ability and not our own.

God has been shaping me to rely on His ability and not anything I have.

Joseph was abused, and abandoned. He was sinned against. Evil was done to him. Did God do that to him? Surely not. If God orchestrates sin against us, even for our benefit, that would mean that God originates sin. God gives everyone free will to say yes or no to His love, and to His will for our lives. Our ability to respond with a yes or no, is what gives us the chance to sin and be evil.

He continues to pursue us, like a GPS after you miss a turn. Sometimes we miss the turn because we weren't paying attention. Other times, we just flat don't believe that the GPS is right, based on what we can see. Whatever the reason, the GPS recalibrates and gives new amended directions based on you not making the correct choice. It is not going to be the fastest route, and it might cost you a little, but it will get you where you need to be.

This weekend was a time where I literally tried to make the correct turn, and because of someone's sin, I was mislead into not staying on the path God had laid out for me.

Today, I am relying on God to recalibrate my destination and/or my directions.

I will say this:
- I am confident that God has a plan for me
- I am confident that I have been doing a great job in His eyes
- I am confident that sin and evil are not God's fault
- I am confident that God used Pastor Derek to speak directly to me.
- I am confident that I have never experienced hurt like this in my life.